Tofdudstik Targyat is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional mink.

Tofdudstik Targyat created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofdudstik Targyat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofdudstik Targyat, it will make you grow a tail.

Tofdudstik Targyat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tofdudstik Targyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. You must pray to Tofdudstik Targyat eight times a day.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.