Gatwipgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced human.

Gatwipgeb created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatwipgeb, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gatwipgeb, she will strike you with lightening.

Gatwipgeb's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gatwipgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.