Vadhakfatfarsis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful crab.

Vadhakfatfarsis created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadhakfatfarsis, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vadhakfatfarsis, he will curse you with boils.

Vadhakfatfarsis' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vadhakfatfarsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue kilts.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Do not listen to music.