Armgontab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage gorilla.

Armgontab created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armgontab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Armgontab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Armgontab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Armgontab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Erect six silicon sculptures of Armgontab on top of important buildings.