Fetgidbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tranquil squid.

Fetgidbaf created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetgidbaf, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetgidbaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fetgidbaf's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fetgidbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Fetgidbaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never paint your feet gray.