Donlattag is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, emotional grasshopper.

Donlattag created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donlattag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Donlattag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Donlattag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Donlattag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing brown trousers.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing orange kilts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about ducks.