Febtiflim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody gerbil.

Febtiflim created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febtiflim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Febtiflim, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Febtiflim's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Febtiflim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.