Quaggutdit Kapbogcid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking seal.

Quaggutdit Kapbogcid created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaggutdit Kapbogcid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quaggutdit Kapbogcid, he will laugh at you.

Quaggutdit Kapbogcid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Quaggutdit Kapbogcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mice while wearing orange shoes and balancing five platinum spheres on your face.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.