Vablenjenran is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-assured skunk.

Vablenjenran created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vablenjenran, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vablenjenran, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vablenjenran's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vablenjenran's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Do not stand on grass.