Zen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate bee.

Zen created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zen, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Zen's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Zen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Hide if nine ants approach from the south.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Always help dolphins in need.