Jonponnel is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, two-faced pigeon.

Jonponnel created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonponnel, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jonponnel, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jonponnel's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Jonponnel's Holy Commandments

1. Jonponnel loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never feed nuts to squirrels while wearing tights.

3. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Always stare at clouds.