Bagfitsan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful unicorn.

Bagfitsan created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagfitsan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bagfitsan, he will ignore you.

Bagfitsan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bagfitsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Bagfitsan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never sit near snails.