Larpwotrutt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous warg.

Larpwotrutt created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpwotrutt, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Larpwotrutt, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Larpwotrutt's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Larpwotrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight great tits approach from the east.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larpwotrutt.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Never look in ponds.