Gatdinstig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, self-confident jellyfish.

Gatdinstig created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatdinstig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatdinstig, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gatdinstig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gatdinstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Run away from gray foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Hide from indigo capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.