Ladsagsand is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous shrew.

Ladsagsand created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladsagsand, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ladsagsand, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Ladsagsand's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ladsagsand's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Ladsagsand first in all things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.