Vabfemfun Stanrotkon is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, egotistical crane.

Vabfemfun Stanrotkon created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabfemfun Stanrotkon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vabfemfun Stanrotkon, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vabfemfun Stanrotkon's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Vabfemfun Stanrotkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Always obey Vabfemfun Stanrotkon's priests.

3. Always help cats.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not hurt whales.