Tabrullwab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful capybara.

Tabrullwab created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabrullwab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tabrullwab, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tabrullwab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tabrullwab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six platinum sculptures of Tabrullwab on top of important buildings.

2. Tabrullwab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.