Arpnurboss Bessbafhom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, passionate horse.

Arpnurboss Bessbafhom created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpnurboss Bessbafhom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arpnurboss Bessbafhom, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Arpnurboss Bessbafhom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Arpnurboss Bessbafhom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Arpnurboss Bessbafhom on top of all buildings.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Learn five new languages a year.