Hitkablag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, effective jellyfish.

Hitkablag created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkablag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitkablag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hitkablag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hitkablag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo birds, for they are unholy.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Hitkablag loves dolphins, so they must be respected.