Nibabbin Bopmetlad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, weak owl.

Nibabbin Bopmetlad created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibabbin Bopmetlad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nibabbin Bopmetlad, it will remove you from existence.

Nibabbin Bopmetlad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nibabbin Bopmetlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.