Talmangab Quamcemcet is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast gerbil.

Talmangab Quamcemcet created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Talmangab Quamcemcet, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Talmangab Quamcemcet, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Talmangab Quamcemcet's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Talmangab Quamcemcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not stand on grass.