Fonarnfun is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective fly.

Fonarnfun created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonarnfun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonarnfun, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fonarnfun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fonarnfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cherries.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Retreat if nine otters approach from the north.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.