Lagzedrig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonourable mink.

Lagzedrig created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lagzedrig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lagzedrig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lagzedrig's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Lagzedrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must love Lagzedrig.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not take Lagzedrig's name in vain.

5. Do not hop in public.