Canartstan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awesome crocodile.

Canartstan created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canartstan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Canartstan, she will turn you into a slug.

Canartstan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Canartstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Canartstan on top of all buildings.