Cutbemnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, generous dog.

Cutbemnarl created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutbemnarl, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cutbemnarl, he will laugh at you.

Cutbemnarl's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cutbemnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cutbemnarl.

2. Always help sick whales.

3. Cutbemnarl loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Cutbemnarl in the centre of the settlement.