Nellzagven is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, calm fly.

Nellzagven created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellzagven, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nellzagven, it will turn you into a mouse.

Nellzagven's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nellzagven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never sing in the presence of gulls.

4. Never feed lots of carrots to snakes while wearing orange stockings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.