Gofnillkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unfair squid.

Gofnillkop created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnillkop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofnillkop, he will remove you from existence.

Gofnillkop's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gofnillkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never bounce near cats.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

4. Retreat if five geese approach from the north.

5. Never look at galaxies.