Kemdabfag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate wren.

Kemdabfag created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kemdabfag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemdabfag, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kemdabfag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kemdabfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Retreat if six whales approach from the north.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.