Metjigriphogdimlad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, confident ferret.

Metjigriphogdimlad created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Metjigriphogdimlad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metjigriphogdimlad, it will turn you into a frog.

Metjigriphogdimlad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Metjigriphogdimlad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about dark energy near hamsters while wearing indigo trousers.

3. Metjigriphogdimlad loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not shave your arms.