Yakcusslam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring toad.

Yakcusslam created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcusslam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yakcusslam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yakcusslam's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yakcusslam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Hide from yellow great tits for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing white skirts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.