Zakdosswig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish fox.

Zakdosswig created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakdosswig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zakdosswig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zakdosswig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Zakdosswig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Put Zakdosswig first in all things.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing indigo corsets and balancing three titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always take life seriously.