Zagbadgof is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, amazing mink.

Zagbadgof created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagbadgof, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zagbadgof, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zagbadgof's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Zagbadgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.