Fumdimzim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, clever snail.

Fumdimzim created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Fumdimzim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fumdimzim, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fumdimzim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fumdimzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

2. Always help moths.

3. Put Fumdimzim first in all things.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never mention tapirs.