Tignurtcumsad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful rhinoceros.

Tignurtcumsad created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Tignurtcumsad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tignurtcumsad, it will come to you in dreams.

Tignurtcumsad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tignurtcumsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tignurtcumsad's priests.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect four silver sculptures of Tignurtcumsad on top of important buildings.