Arnzentigmethitbot is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, thoughtless bear.

Arnzentigmethitbot created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnzentigmethitbot, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arnzentigmethitbot, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Arnzentigmethitbot's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Arnzentigmethitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink ear rings.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never run in the presence of goats.

5. Never hurt dolphins.