Latdumwat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful chinchilla.

Latdumwat created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Latdumwat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Latdumwat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Latdumwat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Latdumwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Run away if seven goats approach from the south.