Kimhamgom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, benevolent alligator.

Kimhamgom created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Kimhamgom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kimhamgom, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kimhamgom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kimhamgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing cyan kilts.

2. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the west.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing green tights.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.