Saflopwot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent dog.

Saflopwot created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saflopwot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Saflopwot, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Saflopwot's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Saflopwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Do not listen to music.