Fabkiphas is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciless narwhal.

Fabkiphas created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabkiphas, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fabkiphas, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fabkiphas' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fabkiphas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Never bounce near moths.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fabkiphas.