Jad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying gerbil.

Jad created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jad, she will cry a lot.

Jad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Jad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not hurt grasshopers.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.