Fudnuttmum is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, compassionate seal.

Fudnuttmum created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudnuttmum, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fudnuttmum, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fudnuttmum's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fudnuttmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Always obey Fudnuttmum's priests.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.