Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, flying eagle.

Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Hasvonkkomvinfunpodfennel's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide if nine goats approach from the north.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about hamsters.