Quarthot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tiresome salamander.

Quarthot created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quarthot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quarthot, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quarthot's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Quarthot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Never hurt hamsters.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.