Lanbonklop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, loving skunk.

Lanbonklop created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbonklop, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lanbonklop, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lanbonklop's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lanbonklop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must love Lanbonklop.