Beggetarntalflandoss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair elephant.

Beggetarntalflandoss created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beggetarntalflandoss, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Beggetarntalflandoss, she will turn you into a hamster.

Beggetarntalflandoss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Beggetarntalflandoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to capybaras while wearing green boots.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never chant in the presence of shrews.