Kompasxem is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering wasp.

Kompasxem created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kompasxem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kompasxem, he will laugh at you.

Kompasxem's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kompasxem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kompasxem five times a day.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always take life seriously.