Witnibdim Veenhappin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful turtle.

Witnibdim Veenhappin created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Witnibdim Veenhappin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Witnibdim Veenhappin, he will not care.

Witnibdim Veenhappin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Witnibdim Veenhappin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not make images of living things.