Lopnurlduss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, kind meerkat.

Lopnurlduss created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopnurlduss, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopnurlduss, it will throw large rocks at you.

Lopnurlduss' most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Lopnurlduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Hide from orange bats for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must love Lopnurlduss.

5. Never paint your legs fawn.