Zenjatton is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic coyote.

Zenjatton created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenjatton, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zenjatton, she will turn you into a dog.

Zenjatton's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zenjatton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Zenjatton must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not take Zenjatton's name in vain.