Gatmetyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, moody scorpion.

Gatmetyarp created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatmetyarp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gatmetyarp, she will turn you into a rock.

Gatmetyarp's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gatmetyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Always help capybaras in need.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.